Marriage Mania
The country has an excessive excitement; a mania for marriages. Did you observe how much people stress on it since the birth of an innocent child, more specifically girls *sniff*? Parents begin to lose sleep at the birth of their baby girl as they think about the expenses they would have to face till the time of her marriage. I am not being cynical; they seriously do not have any other choice. They have a lot of saving to do to have a centrally air conditioned wedding okay? They do not want to sweat after spending a great deal on their hair and make up. It’s not their fault Ather offers no discounts, which actually makes some of the idiots quite happy because they have to tell people about it: D Ok but, by that I certainly do not wish to discuss women only. I, personally find men and women equally berserk in most matters. I refused to go to a wedding in my neighborhood because I saw something very …very disturbing at the Mehndi. Yes, the groom had worn light foundation powder on his face. Now you see, I realize every guy has his sole right to look nice…but not PRETTY!!
Did you notice how everything and I mean everything is so closely linked to marriage? Girls are taught cooking like it’s a matter of life and death (did I mention it always starts from making tea? ok. I just did. ) Guys are sent to good schools, then colleges and then what not, just so they could become somebody before their age. (Sad)
What are you talking about? I know parents who in reality bear their daughters to wear skimpy clothes to (effortlessly) magnetize boys of high birth or social position so their daughters’ future is in good hands. Do you realize how concerned parents are these days? It’s not easy. It’s a “branded zamana” as they say.
Oh talking of boys, I must admire that they appear to be very clear about the kind of girl they prefer to marry. I am saying this so you do not confuse yourself, as they pick entirely a different girl for their love affair(s).
Sigh. I plainly fail to understand why people get married though?, for the reason that even if they do for the love of one another, the “I” trouble still manages to plague it no matter how educated you are and what social backgrounds you belong to. The desire of standing for yourself still remains. You don’t consider yourself and your spouse as one. Marriages are often troubled when a husband feels cheated because his wife fails to live up to all his expectation and she is pretty much as frustrated for the same reason (believe it). Instead of recognizing and correcting their own flaws, they grumble about the things the other spouse does or does not do.
Don’t get mad at me. Admit it. It is the same absurd, whimsical cycle or is it not? You tell me.
I’m happily married. I don’t really have any such expectations from my husband. We love each other, that’s all there is. Still, you did bring up good points.
thanks
but this was to ridicule a certain group of people…not people in general.
I dont attend weddings either … there are a million reasons for that, lets not go there … but I did, once, have to attend a wedding … because I was the best man … I was impressed … all my cliches about the wedding FUNCTION were removed … The groom, a very dear friend of mine, stood firm that everything, every bit of preparation, will remain in the bounds of sanity and simpllicity. AND IT DID.
Nothing wrong with getting married, if you feel upto it. Like EVERY other relationship, this one has hickups too … no fun in having it all easy dont u think?
Good show!!
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You ARE being cynical!
and marriage isn’t so bad 
like everything else in life it has its own pros and cons 
and preparing for it is different for different people the same way preparing for everything else is different for different people..okayy tht sounds confusing now! :p
P.S: But guys putting on make up is a little bit too much.. no its plain yuck! :\
Right off the bat, I think marriage has become something totally opposite of what God intended it to be: firstly, marriage is supposed to lift ‘off’ the pressure, not place added burden on your shoulders (this goes for the parents primarily); secondly, increasingly our vision of ‘marriage’ is being heavily distorted thanks to the unrealistic but very appealing images created by the Hollywood or Bollywood movies.
Come on, do you really think that you’ll have a prince charming who will escort you to la la land? Would you really compare your wife to Angelina Jolie? If you answered yes to any of the preceding questions, boy, I tell you, you’ve got some serious issues to deal with.
What about those days of simplicity? You don’t need a ‘Dinshaw Hall’ to impress the audience. Heck, even those ambient-creating flower arrangements are not necessary! Why do we shoot ourselves in the leg? It’s because the society is defining our actions, not vice versa.
Lastly, in my humble opinion, if you start a marriage in a simple way, it will foster into a simple, loving relationship that you’ll enjoy, not the others…
I must say Amna, you have a knack of writing about things that I have a deeply rooted interest in! First I read the piece about Euthanasia, which is important to me because my best friend’s an atheist and believes in it, whereas I greatly differ from him in my opinion. And marriage, oh yes…as daughters, we know ALL the woes that come with being of the female progeny, don’t we? LOL.
Initially, I must say – the ACT of getting married, is entirely different from the actual marriage itself. The long and tedious process of getting married (in our case,a process of months) is as if a lifetime in itself – but the REAL marriage begins the day AFTER all the ceremonies end.
But also, taking our culture into consideration, in the day and age of today, we might choose our significant others, we might choose who we marry and when we marry…but HOW we marry, is entirely dictated by our family (mainly our parents), who in turn are entirely influenced by our society. In their defense, it is not their fault, it is the grave expectation of the many people who have invited, wined and dined them at the momentous occasion of their weddings or the weddings of their own children – marked by the very same superfluous extravagance – that they not only return the favor in kind, but that they return the favor two-folds. It is a mark of elevated status, to exhibit such lush extravagance, and who doesn’t want to be held in high esteem? And Heaven forbid if you are a little bit prudent in spending on your child’s marriage, because of course (in mock surprise) that would obviously mean you do not love your children enough!!! (In desi aunty voice) “Haye haye, what is the point of giving us these cold COCO Colas when we are sweating like mules in this non-air conditioned hall? Merely one daughter and yet they are so tight-fisted? Hrmph!” (Shakes her head in dismay) What a paltry and pathetic way to measure the love of a parent!!!!! But ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the show…this is what we have become! Or shall I say, been reduced to?
And of course, do not discount that all this over-indulgence and immodesty is clearly forming a black and steeping hole in the financial infrastructure of the family, clear only to the family itself, leaving the soon to be married in a grave fog of guilt. Yes, the very first gift of getting married is almost always, if you have any conscience, the gift of guilt. Why, if it was not enough that they raised you, clothed you, loved you unconditionally – they now have to strip themselves bare, break all their piggy banks in order to pawn you off to someone else! So many would much rather spend less, and feel less guilt – but then, that would just be unfair to your parents, who have so many “armaan” (armaan that will later become the very bane of your financial existence! LOL).
Then there’s marriage! Ahhh, the sacred bond of marriage. I cannot say much about marriage, what with not being married myself. I don’t expect much of marriage, I deem it to be much like a tabloid magazine – a BIG, FLASHY headline with a small, often uneventful, and simple story. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing! If you’ve lived my life, normalcy and simplicity are more than enough!
Maybe there will be romance, maybe there will be love, maybe all there will be is a constant struggle to maintain communication, or perhaps miscommunication, and for sure there will be strife, there may be children (or monsters), and perhaps there will be entertaining and soap-opera-like Saas Bahu problems, maybe there will be peace – *shrugs* who knows!?!? But I’ll tell you what is for certain…you will DEFINITELY have to pay back those marriage loans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*whispers* good luck!
lol !!! sheer ridiculousness and yet we dont curtail ourselves from the shaadi madness using a convenient excuse “its just a matter of a few DAYS !”
one of my very close friends is getting married in pak. i chose to be not so confused and therefore directly asked him why in pak? why not there in States (for thats where the whole family resides)?; to which his reply was: BAH! who wants to keep a wedding here where the guests irritatingly come on time, where theres not much food to show off! and his reasoning went on…!
Or perhaps…he chose Pakistan because there he’ll get more “bang for his buck”, so to speak! Dont mind me, I am not personally attacking your friend, it is just that what with the increasing need for ridiculously hideous expenses looming on his recent horizon, I am sure the Dollars to Rupee conversion seems pretty darn sweet right now! And who can blame HIM too, I mean, I am sure if he was to say to his friends/family that he wants a simple wedding, his ideas would be met with derisive, jeering laughter!
It is a mere matter of days, but the amount of debt we rack up during those “few days” is insurmountable! I say one ought to take perhaps even 10% of the money spent, and give sadaqah with that money in the name of the soon to be married…and may Allah (SWT) bless them on their journey as a couple! Anyhow, to each his own! What am I bitchin’ about…as much as I want an extremely quiet and intimate wedding (with a BIG mehndi, hahaha…good times,right Amna!?!?
)…I probably won’t be allowed this liberty either, so *shrugs*…and the wheels on the bus keep turning round and round! *sigh*
Exactly! Who can blame him? Your close friend’s ideas “would [definitely] be met with derisive, jeering laughter!” He said it because he’s probably bare-budget and wants to make the most out of his bucks. But besides all of that, to shut up everyone — all those evil aunties who have NOTIHNG, absolutely NOTHING to do than to meddle into other people’s affairs wanting to see an extravagant wedding so they can flash their new jewelry. All their chitter chatter is bound to result in a debacle.
hahaha did i mention this close friend of mine is crazy? yes i did.